Subject: The Sorrows Of Dildo Man
Author: The Opera ClownDate: 2 Jul
Ref:
On Jul 1, 4:07 pm, tapefana...@webtv.net (L T) wrote:
And speaking of wunnerful, I'd like to remind everybody of the
picture
of my terlet that I posted here a few days ago? In case you've been
wondering how
it got that way here's the deal:
Every the morning I shove a huge dildo up my ass and eat myself silly
while I post all day long. I eat and drink
and post and post and eat and drink and post and post. I don't go to
the
crapper all day or all evening. There comes a point where it's no
longer safe to remove
the plug manually(that would be "Suicide by Dildo") so I have to
wait for the forces of nature to do it for me; it's the only safe way
-
messy? Yes, of course- but safe. I'll explain:
Around about midnight there is a ferocious battle of opposing forces
going on amongst my posting compulsion, my overstressed innards and
my
exhausted asshole. Sometimes I make it to the crapper and sometimes I
don't. But even
when I make it, there ain't no way I'm gonna sit on that filthy seat,
so I stand in the doorway facing outwards then bend over and try to
look back through my thighs to try to take aim at the toilet seat,
but when you're as obese as me there ain't no way you're gonna see
that
seat anyhow, so I just take an educated guess and let it fly. That
dildo flies out of my butt like a speeding bullet followed closely by
my former snacks, hotdogs, pierogies, blintzes, watermelon, Big Macs,
pizza supremo, minestrone, cheese omelet Alfredo, and leftover duck
L'Orange, et cetera. (And speaking of "duck", that's a major element
of my
strategy. If I don't duck I get faced when the projectiles rebound of
the the opposite wall). Even ducking doesn't help all that much
because of the wide spray pattern flying back at me which often has
so much carry that it hits the keyboard and monitor of my WebTv in
the
next room. And it always gets in my hair. Talk about a mess. (And
don't even ask where I take a shower. Sometimes I think about giving
that toilet a good cleaning, but I just can't give up that much
posting time.
Best
Leonardo < Credit where doodoo> Tillman
PS: For more details on safe dildo insertion email me privately. Best
LT >
Great post, Lennie. Keep on blasting. CH
The Opera Clown
| The 'Deceased ljo's' Alimentary Adventures |
| 1 Jul | LT |
| My Dildo Chronicles, Best LT |
| 1 Jul |  LT |
| The 'Deceased ljo's' Alimentary Adventures |
| 1 Jul | L T |
| The Sorrows Of Dildo Man |
| 2 Jul |  The Opera Clown |
| Cannot write new post..do not know why.... |
| 3 Jul |  The Handelmani… |
| The 'Deceased ljo's' Alimentary Adventures |
| 3 Jul | LT |
| The Bollman self-portrait |
| 3 Jul |  The Handelmani… |
